Is the Feeling Mutual Between Us?

Thousand apologies to those unfortunate individuals, who, happens to crossed path with me at some point of their life.

I am an absolute loser when it comes to human interaction of any kind, be it Friendship, Companionship, Partnership—basically anything that involves dealing with people other than myself.

And it doesn’t help that I have only a little, if no not at all, amount of EQ in any aspect of handling a proper relationship.

I often felt that I am way too dysfunctional to be in any kind of healthy, life-enriching relationship with anybody.

The close interaction with another human being will always led me to a state of confusion, of which I would ask myself these:


Are we really connected? Maybe you guys were just trying to be nice so that my feeling would not be hurt. Nothing More, Nothing Less.

Am I important enough for you to go that extra length and putting in effort to safe-keep this relationship, if something should come between us?

Maybe I am quite enjoyable to be with, but will you still stick around when all the fun is gone?

So Okay… Sure we might be on good terms with each other now, but will this feeling stand the test of time?

So on and so forth…

I tried my best to keep silly thoughts like these to myself, to not let it show through any of my action. Yet sadly and more often than not, I always managed to screw-up on that, which end-up upsetting the people I am with.

Sometimes I may seem careless and unfriendly, but what you didn’t realize was that I am actually dying for your attention. Yet I pretend I didn’t care because I knew that I have no rights to ask you for anything, and perhaps I am also trying not to put myself in the position of being irrationally demanding.

But you know what? I often secretly wish that you would make me feel better of myself, by means of sharing me with some of your time and telling me more tales about yourself.

These are the deep secrets I always wanted to get off my chest but were too afraid to tell, for the fear of running the risk of freaking people out with my rather intense way of thinking.

As you can see, I am so DEFENSIVE in such a way that, sometimes I wish I could be without feeling, so that I won’t get too emotionally attached to anybody.

Wish I could tell those who really cares from those who doesn’t, that way I need not invest time and energy on those that could only care less about me and consequently being spared from the pain of cold ignorance.

Do you care about me, as much as I care about you?

I certainly hope that the answer from you is affirmative.

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What actually brings people together?
And what is keeping them in-separable thereinafter?