A tale of two movie tix

It’s been quite a while since I last dipped my toe into the water of this age-old-game called Persuasion-of-Affection; shamelessly asking someone to go out on a proper date with me seems like nothing but a distant memory on my part.

(Is it any wonder that I am still a man of solitude till this day?)

Anyway, after putting much thought on my way with life—a move which left me totally shocked and deeply depressed at the same time: I am almost certain to eventually be turned into an old, angry, grumpy and annoying man that no one would care about—if I keep living the way like I do now.

Holy Crap! Nooooo way! I wanna age gracefully! I gotta end this bad spell right this instance! I needa score myself a date now!

But what should I do?

Oh, wait a minute! If my memory serves me correctly, I had some free movie passes lying somewhere around…

(Mr Ticket Voucher, don’t let me down, my entire future depends on you now…)

Okay, got it. Here’s what I’m gonna do:

>Muster up every bit of courage I have,
>Approach my target with the biggest and brightest smile I could possibly pull,
>Let my utmost sincerity shine through while i pretend to be confident,
>Utter the scripted speech of invitation with a warmest tone possible,
>And she will accept the invitation with happy tears in her eyes,
>And last but not least, we shall live happily ever after!!!

Now that I’ve got the masterplan all figured out, the only thing left to do is to set a date of execution for this perfect plan of mine. Let me consult my ticket on that….

...

(Ahhhhhhhhh...What!? 26 JULY!? Today is 26 NOV 2006 already!)

Oh my Goodness! The ticket read: Not valid after 26 JUL 2006! Which means It has been five freaking months past the expiry date, I’m five months too late to claim my free seats in the cinema!

Ugh! Help me! I can’t breath…my perfect plan felt apart…and so is my world…along with all of my enthusiasm for the supposedly bright future.

Damn You, Ticket! You are nothing but a useless piece of junk to me if you can’t grant me any free seats!

(Ya that’s right! Garbage bin is where you belong now!)

No thanks for the false hope, Ticket!

Anyone out there wanna date an old, angry, grumpy and annoying -man-to-be, who has no free movie ticket?

Shall I pre-book myself a spot in the old folk’s home now?

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Note: To whom it may concern,
Please pay no attention to the author of this article--an individual who shall forever doomed as a sad and pathetic loser, cos instead of forking out money from his extremely deep pocket to get what he needs, he chose to whine over the loss of some useless piece of junk…Heck, a disgrace-of-manhood such as him should be locked-up and be banned from seeing anyone altogether…