Preventive Maintenance

Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear all,

SHUT DOWN NOTICE

This is to inform that, I, an involuntary participant in this big game called Rat Race, will be shutting down for all of today for maintenance purpose.

This is an absolute must, seeing that I have been busting my ass for those endless professional obligations for the past two weeks, for a relatively next-to-nothing fee.

Therefore I am excusing myself and shall not be available for response of any kind within the above-mentioned period. Please do not attempt to engage me with any mode of communication— do NOT send me email since I won’t even check my inbox today, do NOT fax me anything since I don’t even have a personal fax machine to begin with, do NOT call me since I will be putting my phone away so I won’t & can’t pick up none of your call.

This practice is a necessary measure to ensure my continual participant in this never-ending race in the future—to provide a short timeframe for recuperation, in view of the restoration of the integrity of my professionalism, which is possible to be exploited further in a longer run after this specified period of downtime.


Yours un-faithfully,

LONER
Victim of Corporate Slavery
Way-Too-Demanding Co., Ltd.

(Closed for Maintenance. NOT Apologizing for any Inconvenience Caused)
.

In short, LEAVE ME ALONE TODAY!

RSVP

I am invited!

(Calling all Brothers!)
.

Original Message: 这里是XXX结婚筹委会主席. 恭喜您,您以(已)被邀请为xxx结婚兄弟团。注册非常容易-只许(需)按“回复”去此号码和写出此字“I DO”,那您就成为会员。会员将享有两天一夜住宿免费(Hotel xxx xxxxxxxx)和xx一日游。日期:五月九号与十号。位子有限,动作请快。

Direct Translation: This is the Chairman of xxx wedding committee, Congratulations, You are invited to join as a member of xxx Wedding’s Brotherhood. Registration is easy, just hit “Reply” to this number and key in this word “I DO”, and then you shall be accepted as member. Member will enjoy a complimentary 2-day 1-night accommodation (Hotel xxx xxxxxxxx) and a day trip to xx. Date: 9th and 10th of May. Seats are limited, please hurry.

……………………


Brotherhood is the Groom’s defense against the notorious Sisterhood made up by the Bride’s girlfriends, who, refuse to release the Bride for the wedding reception after the Bachelor night, unless they are through torturing the Groom & co. with all their evil demands and impossible instructions.

So tell me, sisters, why you girls like this silly game of playing HARD to get, huh? Do you girls enjoy making things HARD for us guys (ahem!), huh?


--____--


Muahahahahaha!!!

Oh by the way, Mr. Groom,

I wouldn’t miss this for the world, I mean, how could anyone not feel honored by this?

And please keep all your Thank-yous to yourself, cos the pleasure’s all mine!