The company memo that will never be

From: Mr Big-big-Boss
To: Colleagues
Date: June 2006
Subject: Internal memo from company managing director

Dear colleagues,

Over recent days we have renewed our company policy to communicate employee’s pro-growth, pro-welfare and pro-world cup agenda.

Over the coming weeks, we will be communicating with our shareholders, customers and others. Our agenda: To better inform stakeholders about how the old sets of regulations and administrative practices impede our ability to grow our business.

In particular we need to make sure:

--our stakeholders know and understand the importance of the management review on implementing new policy on working hour during the world cup season, which would be cutting the current working hours by half, in order to provide sufficient time for all the football fans in the company to catch up with their sleep during daytime when no match is on;

--under the aforementioned company policy, all absolute hardcore supporter of the world cup tournament shall be granted with extra days of annual leave and better rate of increment, as a token of appreciation from the company for being supportive of this GREATEST GAME ON EARTH EVER;

--our shareholders know and understand management and regulatory issues and what’s at stake for them and the price of their shares should they determine to decide against this. DON’T EVER ATTEMPT TO CHALLENGE ANY FOOTBALL FANS WITH THEIR RIGHTS TO WATCH THE GAME.

In the time ahead, there will be many interpretations placed on what we are trying to achieve as we drive a continuing flow of information out to company stakeholders—information that shows how our current operations and performance are affected by overtly intrusive and unbalanced regulations from the views of all the football fans in the company.

Let me assure you that we will continue to comply with all laws, rules and regulations even as we seek to change some of them so that we can better serve our customers, grow our business for our shareholders, while keeping the fans of the GAME happy.

As company stakeholders, i want to encourage you to follow these issues and get engaged as we seek to improve the operating environment for company employees, customers and shareholders. We will keep you informed as the plan unfolds.


Regards,

Mr Big-big-Boss

Group Managing Director

I-Love-Football Corporation



--do you know any company like this? Cos i really wanna work in there.—