"Shopaholics"ME!

Alright, I better come clean now. Things have gotten so out of hands…

I confess--I have an incurable disease, or more like a mental disorder.

I have an unbelievable, unimaginable, enormous appetite for indulging myself in a money-spending activity called “shopping”.

It gets worst during the mega-sale period!

Yes I know, Mega Sale is just a gimmick of sales initiated by greedy capitalists to lure dumb people like me into buying in more things than I can actually live and do without.

But this piece of knowledge had never managed to stop me from buyingbuyingbuying. I just can’t help it... talk about weak-minded people huh.

As a result of this unhealthy addiction, I owned so many things that I never knew I had. Apparently my rate of consumption couldn’t catch up with all those over-abundant purchases of mine.

Let’s see…tons of un-listened CDs/ MP3s disc, mountains of un-watched VCDs/ DVDs, countless amount of un-read books/ mags/ comics/ fiction stories, roomful of un-worn wardrobe/shoes/sneakers/accessories...

Indeed, I’m way too over-indulged…

WHY AM I LIKE THIS HUH?

Dear Diary: Am i Addicted to Negativity?

(15-08-05 / Monday / 2 O’clock in the morning / Somewhere far far away from home / a coffee table with a fancy chair / holding a mechanical pencil in hand with a piece of blank paper / with soft & comforting sound of music playing in the background / trying to spill my guts out…Wish all of you were here…)

Am I addicted to negativity?

Hell NO! Maybe I was…But now that I’ve come to my senses, I know for sure that it is the last thing I need for my insignificant existence on the face of this earth.

As I am writing this, I am actually having some sort of short weekend getaway. Had a lot to think about…my feelings…my attitude…my life so far…my everything…

Nothing conclusive, definitive or impressive masterplan on life pop out of that thinking process, but it is good to put everything else behind and try communicating with my inner-self for a change.

It is kind of funny that, more often than not, I avoid dealing with the true feelings I had towards things that I actually care, by means of lying away to my ownself, which, proved to be a terrible approach to face the reality (by not facing it…?), and only end up driving myself up the wall.

How to get involved without being too caught-up?,,, With Life / Relationship, and everything else.

Question with inconclusive answers…

Good Nite…Oops…I mean Good Morning!

Kill All Speculations!

I am not a perfect person…
I am neither nice nor adorable.
And I am not afraid to admit that I am not a bright person too.
I even have bad attitude oftentimes.
But if you all think that I have serious issues as a human being, perhaps you all should be brave enough to confront me with it, right in front of my face.
Instead of spreading my disease around.
I know it is no one’s obligation to help me fix my problem, no one but my own self.
But please, for the love of god, don’t go back-stabbing me like I am some sort of criminal.
It will do nothing but make the matter worse.
I can live with the carelessness or even ignorance from anyone of you, but please spare my feelings while you are at it.
If you have got something to say, just say it! Dxxn It!!!
Or else don’t speak a single word at all, especially not behind my back!
Now if you excuse me, I will now try my best to fix myself.
Deal?

Sick & Tired

Sick & tired for being insignificant.
Sick & tired for being easily shaken.
Sick & tired for being so self-defensive.
Sick & tired for not being mattered to anybody.
Sick & tired for not being able to be a better man.
Sick & tired for not being able to be nice with people around me when I am down.
Sick & tired for being SICK AND TIRED…

Tough Phase

I’ve got people telling me that all the stuff that I wrote here were all but optimistic.
How true.
Why does my heart feel so bad?
Perhaps I should try to convince or even lie to myself, that there are better things waiting for me in my life ahead.
I sincerely hope I could.
I am going through a difficult time, all by myself.
When will this be over?
Delicate heart and sensitive feeling are such deadly combination.
Stand up and be a MAN!
Stop being a cry baby!
I keep telling myself.
Chin Up! Face Up! And Move On in forward motion!!!