Dreamland is where I wanna be now

.
*gasps*

Goodness gracious me…

My mental-self desires nothing more than to tuck my physical-self into a warm and comfy bed right this instance, if that’s an option that I could actually take at all.

Wouldn’t it be nice to, every once in a while, let your mind go nuts, imagination runs wild, by freeing the otherwise suppressed subconscious that lurks deep within you.

Practicing the art of being carefree, so to speak.

Why must I be worrying about anything at all?

When I know I have a choice not to, even for only a brief moment--in my dreams.

Is this the right attitude to adopt at a starting point of a demanding workday?

Ouch!

Don’t hit me with all those cold hard facts called Reality.

Do keep me wide awake with the tangibility of life instead.

What good is a book if you neglect it and let it cover in dust?

Felt soooo undeserving of your well-thoughts.

Especially when you asked “Have you read it?”

Felt kinda guilty for not reading the book.

Even after you said “Just asking only, I don care…hehe”

(a lovely book given by a lovely soul on a lovely birthday of mine)

......
But you know, it was such a thick book.

So bloody thick that I have only managed to finish about less than one-tenth of it in 4 months.

So I guess you should not be discouraged by me not being able to share any comments I might have on the stories with you.

But wait!!!

---One-tenth of the book = 40 over pages

---4 months = 120 days plus.

I did what!? 40 pages in 120 days!!! That’s ridiculously slow by any standard!!!

Alright...alright…I shall confess and totally own up to my negligence to this poor book.

So…

I hereby promise that I will finish this very book to the very last page, even if it means I have to quit my job, skip all of my meals & be awake all night long!!!

And I mean it.

So don’t be surprised if you don’t get to see me for the rest of this year.

*Signing off to bury my head in THIS book! hahaha*

GoGoingGone

You decided to step out of my sight the way you did just now.

Without a proper farewell, not even a polite acknowledgement.

Like we were nothing but two strangers who just-so-happened-to-be-in-the-same-place-at-the-same-time by pure accidence.

Maybe we shouldn’t have had those quality times together in the first place.

Maybe we shouldn’t have known one another the way we did.

Maybe we are not meant to cross each other path at all.

Maybe nothing between us is what it seemed.

Or maybe it was all some crazy imagination on my part.

Maybe----there were absolutely NOTHING between us at all.

Even after what we have gone through together.

Only one thing is certain for me: My efforts were wasted on you, and your coldness.

And since you are GONE, would you kindly take each and every bit of those memories in my head with you?

Cause I want them GONE too, together with you!

Like nothing ever happened before.

Just like the way you chose to walk out of this.

I hereby close this chapter with all the kindness I can possibly squeeze out of my confused and second-guessing mind right now.

All the best to you hereon in.

.............................

不如对那人斗快斗早心淡
其实没时间
为了他/她　比赛惨

容祖儿 《流泪眼望流泪眼》

.............................

Mid-week Escapology

.
It’s a tough act to lead a life.

It’s an even tougher act to lead life as a standard (read: minor & unimportant) member of the working class.

It’s the toughest act of it all to lead life as a standard member of the working class that has no choice but to comply with those social standards in the aid of living up to those mutual expectations for being in a modern and civilized society, so that we could fit in, stand tall and look great among those people surrounding us that we could hardly care of.

Yet since excusing myself from this vicious cycle of Rat Race would spell disaster for my livelihood, may I perhaps have a little fantasy in that dark corner of my head?

To make time goes slower? To get more than 24 hours a day? To go with no sleep without driving myself into insanity?

So that, I, could constantly feed my ears with the cool vibe of music/ bury my head in the pages of a good read/ feast my eyes on the screens of moving images & thrilling sound effects.

And maybe then, I can have all the time in the world that I possibly need to attempt constructing a better Blog entry than this.

Such escapist I am.

Useless Thought of the Day

Here’s what runs on my mind:

“Life is just like a huge thick sinfully delicious piece of Cheese/Chocolate cake—resisting it against the will of your sweet tooth would be a bad idea for your mental wellness; indulging it too much and you are bound to screw up your physical well-being”

Ahhh, Pardon me, this must have something to do with that unbelievably enormously expensively heavy lunch I had this afternoon---one of which I am still feeling very much full and drowsy even after almost 7 hours now, and one of which left me with nothing but an empty pocket...

Quote of the Day— [O] by Damien Rice

.
The word Poignant & Heartfelt doesn’t even begin to describe how heartstring tugging it really is to me for the effort you put out on this.

Your voice’s a deadly weapon, melody’s a method of execution, and the songs are practically a dark cage that captures all emotions of heartbreak.

Killing me softly with your songs

Nevertheless, I absolutely love it, the joy of deep wallowing.

Such as these,

.

.

Delicate
So why do you fill my sorrow/ With the words you borrowed/ From the only place you know?
And why do you sing Hallelujah/ If it means nothing to you/ Why do you sing with me at all?

*****

Volcano
Don’t hold yourself like that/ You’ll hurt your knees.
I kissed your mouth and back/ And that’s all I need.
Don’t build your world around volcanoes melt you down.
What I am to you is not real.
What I am to you/ You do not need.
What I am to you is not what you mean to me.
You give me miles and miles of mountains/ And I’ll ask for the sea.

Don’t throw yourself like that in front of me.
I kissed your mouth and back/ Is that all you need?
Don’t drag my love around volcanoes melt me down.

What I give to you/ Is just what I’m going through/ This is nothing new/ No no just another phase of finding what I really need/ Is what makes me bleed/ But like a new disease/ Lord/ She’s still too young to treat.

You do not need me.

*****

The Blower's Daughter
And so it is/ Just like you said it would be/
Life goes easy on me/ Most of the time.
And so it is/ The shorter story/
No love no glory/ No hero in her sky.

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is/ Just like you said it should be/
We'll both forget the breeze/ Most of the time.
And so it is/ The colder water/
The blower's daughter/ The pupil in denial.

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new.

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to/
Leave it all behind?

*****

Cannonball
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth.
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt.
Still a little hard to say what's going on.

Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness.
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed.
You step a little closer each day/
That I can't say what's going on.

Still a little bit of your song in my ear.
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear.
You step a little closer to me/
So close that I can't see what's going on.

So it's not hard to fall/ When you float like a cannonball.

So come on courage/ Teach me to be shy,
'Cause it's not hard to fall/ And I don't wanna scare her.
It's not hard to fall/ And I don't wanna lose.
It's not hard to grow/ When you know that you just don't know.

*****

Older Chests
And we (always) seem to need the help/ Of someone else/
To mend that shelf/ (of) Too many books/
Read me your favourite line.

Some things in life may change/
And some things/ They stay the same.

Like time, there's always time/ On my mind.
So pass me by/ I'll be fine/ Just give me time.

*****

Amie
Amie come sit on my wall & read me a story of 'O'.
Tell it like you still believe/ That the end of the century/
Brings a change for you and me.

*****

Cheers Darlin'
Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy.
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you.
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear.
Cheers darlin'
You gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away.

And I die/ When you mention his name.
And I lied/ I should have kissed you/
When we were runnin' in the rain.

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man.
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can.
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar.
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen/
To sit not very far from me.

I die when he comes around/ To take you home.
I'm too shy/ I should have kissed you/ When we were alone.

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

Oh what am IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII? What am IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII darlin'?
I got years to wait...

*****

Cold Water
Cold, cold water surrounds me now/
And all I've got is your hand.
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?

Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?

*****

I Remember
I remember it well.
The first time that I saw/ Your head around the door/
'Cause mine stopped working.

I remember it well.
There was wet in your hair/ I was stood in stare/
And time stopped moving.

I want you here tonight/ I want you here.
'Cause I can't believe what I found.
I want you here tonight want you here.
Nothing is taking me down, down, down...

Except you my love. Except you my love...


Come all ye lost/ Dive into moss/
And hope that my sanity covers the cost/
To remove the stain of my love/ In paper mache.

Come all ye reborn/ Blow off my horn/
I'm driving real hard.
This is love, this is porn.
God will forgive me/ But I, I whip myself in scorn, scorn.

I wanna hear what you have to say about me/
Hear if you're gonna live without me/
I wanna hear what you want.
I remember December.

What the hell do you want?

*****

Eskimo
Tiredness fuels empty thoughts/ I find myself disposed.
Brightness fills empty space/ In search of inspiration.

Rain it wets muddy roads/I find myself exposed.
Tapping doors, but irritate/In search of destination.

Harder now with higher speed/ Washing in on top of me.

So I look to my Eskimo friend
I look to my Eskimo friend
I look to my Eskimo friend
When I'm down, down, down.

kosketa minua - Touch me/
älä käsilläsi - Not with your hands/
vaan niin että tunnen sinut - But the way I can feel you.

kosketa minua - Touch me/
älä käsilläsi - Not with your hands/
mutta sielussasi - But within your soul.

minä kaipaan eskimo-ystävääni - I look to my Eskimo friend.

When I'm down, down, down.
When I'm down, down, down.

*****

The Professor & La Fille Danse
Well I don't know if I'm wrong/ ‘Cause she's only just gone.
Here's to another relationship/ Bombed by my excellent breed of gamete disease.
I'm sure when I'm older I'll know what that means.

Cried when she should and she laughed when she could.
Here's to the man with his face in the mud/
And an overcast play just taken away/
From the lover's in love at the centre of stage yeah.

Loving is fine if you have plenty of time/
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind yeah.
Loving is good if your dick's made of wood/
And the dick left inside only half understood her.

What makes her come/ What makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away? Yeah.
What makes him stall/What makes him stand?
And what shakes the elephant now?
And what makes a man?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know/
No I don't know you any more/
No, no, no, no...

I don't know if I'm wrong/ 'Cause she’s only just gone/
Why the fuck is this day taking so long?
I was a lover of time and once she was mine.
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed.

Cried when she should and she laughed when she could.
Well closer to god is the one who's in love/
And I walk away cause I can/
Too many options may kill a man.

Loving is fine if it's not in your mind/
But I've fucked it up now, too many times.
Loving is good if it's not understood/
Yeah, but I'm the professor/
And feel that I should know.

*****

Lonelily
In a way I felt you were leaving me/
I was sure i wouldn't find you at home.
And you let me down/
You could've knocked off the evening/
But you lonelily let him push under your bone.

You let me down/ It's no use deceiving/ Neither of us wanna be alone.

In a way I lost all I believed in/
And I never found myself so low.
And you let me down/
You could've called if you'd needed/
But you lonelily got yourself locked in instead.

And you let me down.
It's one thing being cheated/
But you took him all the way through your bed.

And now you're coming home/
And I'm trying to forgive.
You're coming home/
And I'm trying to forget.
You're coming home/
And I'm trying to move on.
You're coming home/
And you haven't called yet.

*****

Woman Like A Man
You wanna get boned/
You wanna get stoned/
You wanna get a room like no one else.
You wanna be rich/
You wanna be kitsch/
You wanna be the bastard of yourself.
You wanna get burned/
You wanna get turned/
You wanna get fucked inside out.
You wanna be ruled/
You wanna be fooled/
You wanna be a woman like a man like a woman like a man.

(I’ll get a cheaper ticket next time)
(Really wasn’t worth the ride)

*****

Moody Mooday
Mooday (It's got me)
Baby, why d'you have to leave/
Something up your sleeve/
Baby, I find it hard to breath.

Baby, why d'you have to leave/
Why d'you have to break free/
Why d'you have to go.

Baby, why d'you have to run/
Looking after number one.

Something you're afraid to show?
Someone else you'd rather phone?

………………………………………………….

Such a perfect soundtrack for wrists-slitting.

Don’t you think so?

The Colour Question

I was kinda stumped.

When you posed me with this:

“What kinda color am I to you?”

Which then followed by that quizzical look on your face,

And then an awkward moment of speechlessness on my side.

Well, I guess I owe you a proper answer, and so here it is-

To me, you are like an amazing palette of vivid colours.

A Palette with nothing but nice and wonderful scope of colors.

One of it would be the shade of Light Blue.
For it is your favorite colour, which is also the colour of your lovely car.

It is so much your color, that, the sight of it never fails to remind me of you---of how great it is for me to get to know you.

Another one would be a patch Light Green.

That’s my impression of all those quality times spent together with you.

Your presence around me has always made me felt relaxed and comfortable, just like a mesmerizing scene of greenery.

The color of Spotless White makes me think of how universal your personality is---of how well you could always get along with whatever kinds of people around you.

A shocking, intimidating, much dreaded color like Bright Red is how I feel whenever I pushed your button and made you show me that mad and furious face of yours… Noooo!!! HELP!!!

Last but by no means the least, you constantly made me feel like Light Yellow.

Which symbolize those warm and fuzzy feelings I hardly get from anyone else--Anyone else but you.

So there you have it.

You are light blue + light green + white + bright red + light yellow.

What colour would it be if I put all of them together? Hmmm…I wonder.

---Those dizzying colours of my mixed feelings when I don’t get to see you often enough?

I am Possibly the Stupidest Human Being in the Entire World Right Now!

Yes I mean it.

And I shall completely own up to my dumbness & stupidity.

Owing to my inability to operate a camera properly.

Everything disappeared into thin air with my finger pressing the wrong button once and only once, nothing more and nothing less, and that was it, no turning back, no reversing spell, no nothing.

Instead, the only thing I got left is this lousy prompt up message on the camera screen.

(Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh........Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )
.

And with that, every bit of well documented sights & sound & images of a fun-filled outing is ggggggg…..gone, at a press of one lousy button.

I shall punish myself with all methods imaginable & available to me.

For I am the fool who foolishly robbed every freeze frame of those fond memories from you guys.

*Banging my head against the wall for a million times*
*And repeat the whole thing for another million times again*